Reasons why relationship and marriages fail.
When two people agree to join
together in holy matrimony, it’s because they are in love and wish that their
love lasts forever. They hope to be examples for children to follow when they
get to marriageable age.
Sometimes, what we wish for
cannot be handed on a platter of gold. We have to work extra hard for our
marriages to have a solid foundation, and this extra work involves a lot of
soul searching, tolerance, perseverance, patience, prayers, counseling, and
motivation.
The following are the reasons
why people are either still single or engaged and ready to break up, divorced, separated,
on the verge of divorce or physically married but inwardly separated.
1. Commitment - It is very hard for a player to commit to a
relationship. A player is someone who loves attention from the opposite sex and
feels too young to settle down. A player feels like a prisoner if committed in
a relationship because he or she cannot pick and choose who to date anymore.
They feel stuck to one partner rather than having the pleasure of many. They do
not want to be controlled or held responsible for someone's feelings.
It is very important to be
observant when dating because a lot people start relationships with the hope of
getting to the altar only to find out they were either a fling or a rebound.
This tends to make people closed up when they eventually find a potential
suitor because of their previous experience. The trust is gone and no one wants
to be hurt emotionally.
2. Wandering Eyes- I call it wandering eyes, because some people like
to eat their cake and have it back. Someone who is married or engaged has no
business in a spinster, bachelor, and married, divorced or separated person’s
bed.
It is disrespect to the
partner, the kids, the in-laws and even the person’s family. A man or woman who
cannot stick to a partner should not be married in the first place because
their actions hurt the partner in the marriage or relationship. It is better to
be single than be involved in a relationship where a partner has a history of
cheating because, like they say, “old habits are hard to break".
3. Controlling spouse/partner - when there is too much dominance from
a partner, the relationship or marriage suffers. The controller tends to
gradually silence the partner to the point of resentment.
It takes two to tango. When
one part of a balance gets heavier than the other part, it becomes imbalanced
and that is what the relationship or marriage results.
Love gradually fades making
the marriage /Relationship an empty shell. Couples begin to live like buddies
or roommate.
Often, people stay in a
marriage for the sake of the kids and not for each other anymore. Then there
begin to be a third party involved which could be a mistress or a fling. Only a
responsible partner would work hard to put the family together, and it takes a
disciplined mind to think and change unacceptable behaviours that affects
others.
To be continued.
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