YOUR FIRST LOVE

 

There was once a time, when you felt your first love was the only one you would love. The dates, holding hands, the butterflies, and the sweet nothings you whispered in each other ears, all seem like a fairy tale years after.

Some are luckily married to the one and only true love in their lives, while some migrated, seeking for better partners who would treat them right.

Sometimes, without trying, you find your thoughts traveling back to the beginning when all seemed perfect. You wish you were still together. You wonder what silly argument led to the break-up. You picture what life would’ve been like if you were together.

With Facebook, it’s possible to trace lost friends, flings, and memorable names and faces from the past. It’s possible to know who has moved on, and who is holding on.

If you ever think that your relationship was a match made in heaven, and there is a possibility of getting back to your single ex? I would say, follow your heart, and go for it. It’s better to speak out than suffer silently of heartbreak.

Love gives chances; chances you mustn’t throw away. People quarrel, and people make up. Do not be strong-headed, weakening your heart muscles with stress in the process.

Only the living has the ability to love. Life is too short to neglect the beauty of loving and being loved. Life is too short to hold on to grudges.

INDECISION

INDECISION

Jenny storms out the apartment she shares with her boyfriend, toting her purse and cellphone.

‘Jenny, please come back and let’s discuss this amicably. You can’t keep running off whenever we are discussing something important,’ Brian hollers after her.

She tosses her purse in the back seat, opens the car door, slumps into her seat and drives off to the next victim; one of her numerous boyfriends.

It had been the trend since Brian made her his girlfriend; unbeknownst to him she was an indecisive men collector, who desired men’s attention and gifts without an iota of love and respect for them or their feelings.

If love was present in her book, she wasn’t willing to give it to just one man and be committed in the relationship.

One man’s attention is nothing compared to what she has at the moment, besides, she is still young and must sow wild oats before giving the key to her heart to a sole individual, who at the moment is none existent.

She laughs out aloud in her car as she heads to the next John whom has foolishly fallen in love with her, thinking he is the only man in her life.

‘I am beautiful and manipulative,’ she says in a singsong manner.

Her cellphone rings and she glances it at, concentrating on her driving as well. It’s Brian of course. She knew he would call sooner than later.

She had him wrapped around her finger, but not for long.

One day, he would sit and playback his relationship with her, wondering if it was worth the stress to keep her when she is exhausting him with her drama and demands.

Do not toil with people’s feelings and emotions. It boomerangs most of the time.

Reasons why relationship and marriages fail.

Reasons why relationship and marriages fail.

When two people agree to join together in holy matrimony, it’s because they are in love and wish that their love lasts forever. They hope to be examples for children to follow when they get to marriageable age.

Sometimes, what we wish for cannot be handed on a platter of gold. We have to work extra hard for our marriages to have a solid foundation, and this extra work involves a lot of soul searching, tolerance, perseverance, patience, prayers, counseling, and motivation.

The following are the reasons why people are either still single or engaged and ready to break up, divorced, separated, on the verge of divorce or physically married but inwardly separated.

1. Commitment - It is very hard for a player to commit to a relationship. A player is someone who loves attention from the opposite sex and feels too young to settle down. A player feels like a prisoner if committed in a relationship because he or she cannot pick and choose who to date anymore. They feel stuck to one partner rather than having the pleasure of many. They do not want to be controlled or held responsible for someone's feelings.

It is very important to be observant when dating because a lot people start relationships with the hope of getting to the altar only to find out they were either a fling or a rebound. This tends to make people closed up when they eventually find a potential suitor because of their previous experience. The trust is gone and no one wants to be hurt emotionally.

2. Wandering Eyes- I call it wandering eyes, because some people like to eat their cake and have it back. Someone who is married or engaged has no business in a spinster, bachelor, and married, divorced or separated person’s bed.

It is disrespect to the partner, the kids, the in-laws and even the person’s family. A man or woman who cannot stick to a partner should not be married in the first place because their actions hurt the partner in the marriage or relationship. It is better to be single than be involved in a relationship where a partner has a history of cheating because, like they say, “old habits are hard to break".

3. Controlling spouse/partner - when there is too much dominance from a partner, the relationship or marriage suffers. The controller tends to gradually silence the partner to the point of resentment.

It takes two to tango. When one part of a balance gets heavier than the other part, it becomes imbalanced and that is what the relationship or marriage results.

Love gradually fades making the marriage /Relationship an empty shell. Couples begin to live like buddies or roommate.

Often, people stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids and not for each other anymore. Then there begin to be a third party involved which could be a mistress or a fling. Only a responsible partner would work hard to put the family together, and it takes a disciplined mind to think and change unacceptable behaviours that affects others.

To be continued.

What do you consider as cheating?

What is considered cheating? Is it when someone is caught in the act, or when someone is dating online without actually having intercourse physically?
If a man/woman is married, I suggest he cut off ties with internet dating sites. What do they seek online at dating sites with wedding band on their fingers?
Let’s call spade a spade. People who cheat online, and brush it off with “after all, am not cheating,” only deceive themselves.
It is either you are married, or you are not. You can’t sit on the fence, and hurt those who love and care about you; devoting their time and life in the relationship, only to be slapped multiple times with secret infidelity.
Those who cheat are better off single. They could live their lives as they please without hurting a loyal partner in the process.
We must practice loyalty and responsibility, and start being faithful as promised on the altar.

Secrets! to keep, or not to keep.

Secrets, hmm, everyone has it. How many you have is what breaks a relationship. Do we really have to keep them? In my opinion, no. Is it safer to let them out of the cupboard? Well, yes! if you love your partner, and what you have together, that is.
People think hiding secrets makes them smarter than who they hide it from, but they forget that, when the secret is exposed, they lose whatever they held dear that made them keep the secret in the first place.
I always say' nothing is hidden under the sun.' It will definitely come out someday. So, what's your secret;murder, infidelity, theft, adultery, double life, sexual orientation, e.t.c
Let it out, and give your heart a break. You will find that, it's no big deal after all, and you would sleep better at night in lieu of walking on egg shells.